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  • Writer's pictureSandra Dosdall

Why Are You Doing What You Doing If You Don’t Like Who You Are Becoming?

It’s just a question. You don’t have to get defensive. Honestly.

But if I have triggered something. If I sparked an interest, then maybe we should talk a while. There’s always time for a chat. Come sit with me, let’s talk about what’s eating you up.

If you are anything like me, like most of us, you are constantly looking for something to fill the void that seems to pick at you. The one that gnaws at your spirit. If you’re like me, you probably came out of high school with a basic plan. The plan was formulated around the dinner table. Your parents asked what you thought you might like to do, and you pick a path that would present the least amount of resistance. This isn’t everyone. I know that. But a lot of us have to admit that we chose what was going to be easy not what we were passionate about or what we believed we were good at. Or worse, we opted to chose a career path that would be pleasing to our parents. Satisfying. Not gratifying. Satisfying. There’s a huge difference, but oh boy if you get on the wrong side of either one of those you can end up miserable.

So career choices...who picked accountant? It’s safe right? Nobody ever questions the accountants. “Hey what are you planning to study at Uni?” “Oh Accounting.” “Nice.” Hey what do you do for a living?” “Me? I’m an Accountant.” “Nice.” “Hey where do you work?” “Me? At blah blah blah chartered accountants.” “Nice!” It’s a stable answer.

Although No one ever says “wow, that is amazing work! You must be so proud.” Or “Incredible! You’re so driven, Your work is so exciting!” Or even better. “Oh my gosh! Your work is so incredibly dangerous!” So you chose the safest road possible. And you are safe. Mmmhmm. Good for you. Safe.

Or maybe you decided that you wanted to be an attorney. Law was where it was at for you. Because you respect everything that the Law represents. You are all for justice, you are all for human rights and equality and billable hours. And your Parents were lawyers and maybe they said it would be a good idea. Tends to run in families. It’s not a rule just a trend.

Did you pick medicine. Because science was your thing? You were good at biology and you thought hey I could give this a lick, and then next thing you know your enrolled in pre-med right? And then ba da bing ba da boom, you’re up for residency. Too late now. You’re a Doctor. But it’s good though because your parents can’t stop talking about you. Or you wanted to enrol in medical school but your grades just weren’t up to snuff because you had more fun in high school than one should have, and so you are now a nurse, or a lab tech, or an X-ray technician or whatever type of medical support person you ended up being.

Does Not Matter. It matters not where you started. What matters today is where you are at, and what you are going to do about it. You do not love what you are doing. No one does. You are not alone in this. If someone tells you that they love what they are doing. They are lying. Most people like what they do. That’s reliable information. But loving it? Come on. Fffssst. Doubt it.

We as a race, humanity in general do what we do everyday to sustain ourselves. We need to eat, we need to pay our rent or mortgage, we have car payments, credit card payments, and on and on and on. We have children that rely on us for care. We chose at the tender age of seventeen or eighteen to educate ourselves for a career path that will likely bore us to near death by the time we reach the age of thirty. By the time we are thirty some of us are still paying off the student loans for the pieces of paper that allow us to enter into the workforce in careers that we will not enjoy but still have to pay for.

Or worse! Maybe you got your undergrad complete and thought, oh perhaps I’ll just take a wee work break, a semester off of school to work for a while, stuff a little cash in my bra and then come back to finish later. Except you got comfortable with the money and you never went back. So now you just have a half a degree. It’s decent. You can say you have an Arts Degree or whatever you focused on, but it’s not what you intended to do. You didn’t execute your plan. Which is fine because you still don’t like it.

You are managing but you get headaches, you feel tired all the time. You wish you could retire early. You think about beach vacations and walks in the forest, alone. Where the world and its demands are so far from you that it seems they can no longer harm you; no longer reach you, no longer plague you with the pressures that make you feel breakable. You long for a career that is different. You have reached a place where you now despise who you are becoming. You snap answers at your significant other. You’re short with your kids. You feel awful after losing your temper. You hate yourself for yelling at them. You are the person that has road rage. You feel tired all the time. Overworked, taken advantage of. So tell me this. Why are you doing what you are doing if you don’t like who you are becoming?

You have the power to change. You do. Only you. That sounds simple in its very essence and yet its a mountain so high that most of us won’t dare to even dream it. We won’t even consider the option of becoming who we really want to be. We will remain who we have become, living with regret because it’s easier. That my friends is very sad, but it’s reality. WE ARE COMPLACENT. We as a body of people in general are LAZY.

It’s not the kids. It’s not the spouse. It's not that the house isn't big enough or that there aren't enough vacations. It isn't our environment that makes us unhappy, it’s ourselves. You don't need a divorce. It’s our work. It comes from our choices, that we make when we aren't fully equipped to make them. Our decisions. We were all intended to manifest certain types of work. If our careers are not in alignment with what our soul needs, then we suffer. If you were supposed to create art and now you are slogging day to day as an accountant, chances are you are insanely miserable. Or Vice

versa. Make a change. Pick up a canvas and paint. Grab an abacus and start adding. Do it at night if you have to, just get started. I understand that you can’t unplug completely from your main source of financial resources. That would be insane. But you need to find ways to fulfill the requirements of your soul. Take a chance.

If you love to sing, take lessons, enter a contest, perform if you can. Imagine yourself on the stage, see yourself doing what it is that you desire, and then take action. If teaching Yoga motivates you then take the steps to make that your reality. Take a course. Get certified. Then start to teach part time. Maybe on weekends. You will be surprised what the universe will do for you once you start to open doors. Go back to school. Finish that degree. Become who You want to Be. What ever it is. Find it. No one else is able to do it. No one else sees your world in the way that you do.

What's important is that you listen to the voice that is trying to tell you that you're not satisfied. We hear it. Some of us misinterpret that voice and think we need to leave our partners. It's more complicated than that though. If you jump ship on your relationship, you will still be unsatisfied. You might have that temporary change relief. A short term euphoria, but it will pass. And then your subconscious will still be gnawing away at you to make a change.

Be your own best friend. Seek satisfaction for yourself now, and if you don't like who you are becoming, then why are you still doing what you are doing?

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